Dear Pen Pal,
So much has happened to me in this past week. I don’t know where to begin. In the past week, I’ve taken up a challenge to meet new people and make new friends. I’ve gone to San Diego for a retreat to learn about my culture with a group of strangers. I’ve come back to Los Angeles ready to get down to business and finish my homework. I’ve taken the courage pill and asked for somebody’s number at work. I received his number, and I’ve had my heart broken. Right now I’m all kinds of fragile glass.
I suppose I’ll tell you briefly that San Diego was a wonderful experience. I’ve grown from it and learned a lot about my heritage as well as resolve to do better for my family and myself. I met many kind people, who have reached out to me, taking the time to chip away at my walls. I also learned about regret there. I lost the chance to tell them how much I appreciate them for allowing a stranger to join their group for a short while. It’s disappointing that I let that moment pass by, but now I know I won’t let it happen again. I don’t want any more regrets; and this ties in with how I gathered the courage to ask for a person’s number.
I was working up front with a friend at my university’s cafe. A customer had come up to her and she took his order. After he left, she turned to me (and her face is always stoic) and said “Eve, I need that guy’s number. I’m in love.” The funny thing was she didn’t look in love, yet she was entirely serious.
She begged me to get his number, writing “Can I have your number?” on a receipt to hand to him. I was much too shy, but our other coworker got it for her. It was so cute how he agreed and came up to my friend and wrote down his number for her. They were so quiet and shy. I was feeling excited for her; I was already so invested in this pre-relationship.
I told her she was so brave to even dare ask for his number, saying if my crush came in I could never ask for his number. I described him to her and sighed. He was a dreamboat carrying a cello. I have a thing for people that play instruments. Especially his musical instrument.
Well, not even a minute later, Cello Guy comes in and walks up to my register. At that moment, I knew this was a chance I could not let pass by me because I had promised myself I would not have anymore regrets.
We had talked before. This time we recognized each other again, saying “I always see you around.” I took this chance to say “I think this means you need to give me your number.” He laughed before saying, “Wait, really?” In the end, he gave me his number. Yet I never caught his name.
Night falls that day and I was wide awake. I couldn’t even sleep because I was so excited and flustered. I can’t believe I did that. I can’t believe it! Those were the thoughts running around in my head. I hoped he didn’t have a girlfriend, and even so, I hoped he would want to be my friend at the very least.
The next day I texted him a short message. I thanked him for his number, told him my name, and said we should hang out whenever he wasn’t busy. And alas, I have yet to receive a text back.
Heartbroken, I write to you to tell you my tales of woe. I sent my heart out and received none in return. I’d like to say I’m glad I took the chance, but my heart feels so heavy that I can’t say I have no regrets. That was the first time I asked for anybody’s number. That was the first time I ever actually went after a little crush. And that was the first time I’ve had my heart broken. Forgive me for being so dramatic, but it seems to be one of my fatal flaws.
Now I lay in bed writing to you, wishing I had chocolate and ice cream. Sadly, I have neither. My dear friend, I hope you are well and good. I hope your love life is blossoming. It seems mine never will.